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Sebastian Martinez's avatar

"Even those of us who have walked away from this ideological insanity, still carry the trace poisons we were raised around." This hit home. I am a first generation immigrant and had the instinct to seek out American culture. Instead of a real culture, which you get from meeting real people, I got fed a pre-packaged corporate vision of America through pop culture and schools. I presumed that was just American culture. I now know that it is exactly as I've described it: a fabrication. And I know which path is the authentic path for me to take to engage with true American culture and at the very least give my future children a chance to not have to grapple with identity constantly and know exactly what kind of people they are expected to be from the get go. However, that pre-fabricated pop culture version of America is so pernicious, I feel that it has damaged my soul irreparably. The only time I feel at peace is at church. As soon as I leave those doors, I see the immensity of the task in front of me and what must be done and my normie brain just wants to go back to fantasy football, beer and wings and video games, the dreaded man cave. I have cultivated such trivial vice in my soul for so long it has made me weak; it is a toxin. And to this toxin, virtue is an antidote, but one that causes a violent revulsions when taken. I return to being slowly poisoned rather than face the future. On and on the loop goes. I pray that even if I never cure the poison in my blood, that it does not pass on to my children. Perhaps they will be a part of the future aristocracy that you speak of.

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simclardy's avatar

Refreshing! I have never had the right words for what you describe, Red America not seeing the world as it is, no seeing our predicaments. Good stout hearts with dim eyes. Thank you for this.

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